I love to get fuck. Really need that now. Where are you Andrew??? Where’s the fuck are you? I need you!!!!!! Fuck you Andrew… Why you do this to me? Damn you!!! jerkkkk

I have never been in this situation like ever. Usually when I`m stressed out, I still can handle it but now, I seriously thinking about taking anti depressant. Yes, I`m THAT depressed right now. So many things are bothering me and I can`t handle it anymore. Bad news keep coming continuously =( I have to think about the living cost in here, my phone bills, I also still wanna go to school. I want to get my bachelor degree but I don`t know how am I going to manage my schedule. Obviously it`s too hard because my schedule is changing constantly and I can`t synchronize between classes and my schedule. Another thing is they don`t have the major I want *sigh* so annoying! Money is always the problem. I need to buy laptop as well but I still don`t have the money. Well I do have it but if I spend it, then my savings will be gone drastically. 

The most complicated problem I encounter right now is about HIM. Seriously, I`m so fed up with this and yet I can`t forget about him and I keep forgiving all of his sins =( Am I too kind or am I too dumb? He succeeded to ruin my life. He succeeded to make me feel I`m an idiotic innocent slut. Nice huh? *sarcastically* It`s so hard to hate him seriously. He is a JERK and a BASTARD. He`s the worst person I`ve ever met and I thought wrong about him. Now, he`s already in a relationship again but he still can`t let me go. His ego is beyond my tolerance. Oh God, please help me to forget about him. I just want to erase everything about him in my life, and pretend it`s never happen. I beg you God to help me. I do believe karma does exist and I do believe You will help me. The only reason I keep forgiving him so many times is because he was the only one who can see through me. He acknowledged my existence when there`s nobody saw me.

I always complied to your rule and I`ve tried so hard to be the one that you want. But apparently you just can`t accept the way I am and even appreciate what I`ve done to you. I wish you will get what you deserve. Being an asshole isn`t gonna help you to be a better person. You may enjoy your life with your so called new girlfriend now, and I also know you have a lot of girlfriends, but I hope it wouldn`t stay forever. Guilty and Karma will haunt you A. I’ll see you again in another world.

xoxo, Sora.

Hell-o tumblr-ers ! So I`ve been really really super duper down these days.. I kept bugging my friends so that I would forget all my problems. I kept asking God, why do I have to experience this situation all the time. Then, I`m starting to surrender and I`ve come to a point where I don`t wanna live anymore. Then Boggie said I shouldn`t be like that. I should try to overcome this situation. But I asked him, HOW to do that? I also asked him why are you always happy? I think he`s incredible. I`ve never seen someone really happy in his life and be positive all the time. I truly envy his life and his attitude. He said he asked God for happiness and enjoy the day every morning. So I tried to do the same thing, and turned out the next day, God really did make me happy.

The next morning I was going back to Denpasar from Osaka. There was this person who is really nice and kinda cute actually. The person beside him asked something to me and I didn`t hear it clearly so I just said “tidak ada” and suddenly he was like “dia *pointing to him* juga tidak ada. sama dia saja.” LOL! So I just realized that he asked if I have a boyfriend or not lols. For some time, I gathered all my courage to talk to him and even asked his email. Thank God he gave it to me and in fact when we were already landed, he said “I`m waiting for your email.” Aaaaaawwww.. I blushed a lot in front of him. After that I emailed him asap, but at first he didn`t reply. So I thought maybe I typed his email wrong or he doesn`t have any internet connection. But the next morning, he DID reply! OMG! I was so shocked that I got up immediately haha. Afterwards we kept emailing each other and turned out he`s going back to Osaka at the same date when I`m going to Osaka too! So yeah, we`re gonna see each other in a plane for the second time =D THANK YOU GOD ! 

Right now, I really depend on him because he can distract me from you-know-who. I know this isn`t right thing to do but I have to do this for my own good. Also, lotsa shit and crap have happened and he was the only who can cheer me up. Btw, I have to cancel my ticket for tomorrow and I have to pay another 5oo,ooo so that I could postponed my ticket. Fuck I say. I also have to go to the airport in the morning, where my plan is supposed to be RESTING ! I cursed all of them who ruined my happiness and won`t let me be happy even just for several hours ! All I want is simply just fuckin’ HAPPINESS !

God, please just let me live peacefully. Please just stop giving me bad news, bad people in my surroundings, and all other bad things. I`m begging you God. I`m really tired every time I can be happy even just for 1 minute, there must be something ruin it. Please stop.. Please?

xoxo, Sora.

Here are the things I’m starting to despise Bali:

1. They’re not a place to  LIVE ! Just for holiday.

2. It`s BORING !

3. Nothing special anymore.

4. Right now, my AC won`t work, keep shutting down by itself, and I cursed the PLN.

5. Live in bali is actually freakin expensive !

6. Hard to find transportation.

These are the things that I can think of right now. I’ll come back soon if I find other things.

xoxo, Sora.